Wow...
here's what's sticking out to me the most lately...
i'm single..
i just went to a bachelorette party for one of my good friends
there were about 9 or 10 of us there
i was the only single one and the rest were engaged
it was soo rediculous
and it was hard not to let it get to me
i had a hard time putting on a smile and going about the time
there was one girl who WAS engaged and wasn't anymore
so there was wedding talk all around me
usually i don't have a hard time putting a smile on
no matter how hard it is,
but last night was really really hard
don't get me wrong
i am so happy for all of them
they're great girls and i wish the best for them
but FOR ONCE can i just answer a question with "yes"?
do you have a boyfriend?
for how long?
or even,
are you talking to anyone specific?
it's so hard to be patient
i know the Lord has got a plan
but sometimes i wish i knew the answers already
so that way i don't have to worry about being wanted
all the time!!!!
it gets tiring, and i'm starting to wear thin
maybe it's me
maybe I'M the problem with all this
i don't have a clue
me being the self-critical
i'm just going to say it's me
is there something wrong with my personality?
the way i look?
the way i act?
for ONCE in my life, i want to be pursued
i want a guy to FIGHT for me!!!
i want a guy to WANT me.
just once...
but instead...i sit and wait for this man to come along
i read books and they tell me i deserve to be pursued
i have yet to believe that
only time will tell
it's on his time now
it always has been
i read a book that said that we need to leave our cares with him
when we say we are giving them to him
GIVE THEM TO HIM
and leave them there with him
they said that there's no need to worry about the past
or the future, but to live in the present the Lord has given to us
the Lord is good
His love will endure forever
i ask you for prayers for this, it's a huge struggle with me right now
people are getting engaged around me left and right
all my friends at school have boyfriends
so that doesn't help either
i don't know what to do
but wait
so i will wait...
and while i'm waiting, i will serve Him
love you all,
Anna
