a change in heart

today i had a reality check
i was not able to get to church
so i listened to a past sermon from home
and it hit home and made me realize
that i need to suck it up and
get over myself
it talked about
the 3 key steps to change
1. desire
2. knowledge
3. power
all these sound simple
but in the end,
they might be the hardest
steps i might take in my whole life
i have to suck it up
desire to change
know what needs to happen
take the necessary steps
and use self-control
to make all these things happen
then today some family stopped by
and i was frustrated with them
but while they were here
i realized that they mean well
the reason i was all pissed
was because i couldn't get over myself
i was being selfish
things need to change
today in Colossians 3
i read about how i should live my life
without the 7 deadly sins
and more with love, humility, caring spirit
today i take the vow
i will do this with my life
i desire it!!
i just need to know what i need to do
and do it.
the Lord will help
yes he sure will
pray for everyone
as they go through finals
and it's getting slick up here
so pray for those traveling!!

happy december

Well Happy December everyone!
the main reason i'm doing this is
last night i had a dream
3/4 of the dream was about
my ex-boyfriend...
it was the hardest thing
cause it felt so real
i thought i was there with him
for some reason his dad and sister
were there too
it wasn't like we were back together
i remember i kept telling myself we weren't
together and so i know we weren't
but in the dream
he kept kissing my cheek
and he tried to cuddle with me
and i kept telling him no
but he wouldn't stop..
what is that?
what is this???
it's not that i like him
i know that for sure
see last weekend while i was home
i went to a party with friends
and i woke up the next morning
with a text to HIM on it
and i don't know how that happened
cause i didn't even know his number
and somehow i got his number
he never texted me back..
that's eating at me like crazy
and now i'm having troubles concentrating
which is bad timing because
i have finals in a few weeks
i'm hoping i can get my head back on soon
ugh..this is so frustrating
i want to cry.
but i don't cause he doesn't deserve anymore
tears from me..
i want to scream
cause i want to know what it means
but i don't..
i just don't even know what to do
anyone have any incite?
let me know if you do!
haha trying to keep at it here at 
good old michigan
peace and love!!!