a colorful update

there's a lot going on lately
i kind of made the decision
that i'm going to play volleyball
for my college next year
hopefully go to open gym this spring
to make sure that i do
but i hope to get back out there
i am on an im's team now
and every time we play
i just come back wanting
to play for the rest of my life
i miss it so much.
another thing on my mind
is...surprise surpsise!!!
boys.
i had coffee with my friend yesterday
and it was sooo fun
we talked about guys
and i guess it was kinda nice
to have someone to bring it up
with and talk about it with
this time 2 years ago
i was just getting back together with
my ex boyfriend
so i'm starting to miss him kinda
not that i want him
but more that i want closure
i just really want to text
him and say hey
but i don't know
if i want him to have my number
and i can't really remember his
which is probably better
i don't know why
but i always seem to be super
lonely during this time of the year
mostly because
i want to have someone to bring
to family gatherings
it is rediculous
but i think it comes with
the atmosphere
enough complaining
now onto life
i've been looking
for a job and hopefully
have found the job for me
please pray that things
go well and i get the job
i'm praying hard over here
thanks guys!!!

an update on a friend's girl

so i talked to my friend's girlfriend
she said she was on a lot of meds
for the pain and such
i talked to my friend a couple days ago
on the way to class
and he found out that she
was re-emitted into the hospital
so he had to get through class
and then get over there to see her
that is so scary
she was puking cause the headaches
were so bad
but now i guess
she's on so many meds
she could start her own pharmacy
anyways, that's all the update i have
i don't really wanna ask about it
just ask how they are both doing
pray they can keep their studies up
and pray she doesn't drop in health
also, pray for her family while they get through this
thanks guys!!

PRAY HARD!

please start praying hard if you are reading this
today i was at hoogenboom
and one of my best guy friends walked in
when i asked him what he was doing
he said his girlfriend had suffered a bad concussion
and he was taking her to the ER
he just texted me
and said they found a cist in her brain
a brain tumor
she is the sweetest girl
and she's got the biggest heart
it's just life shaking
you never know when it's all over
or when something life altering
can happen to us
none of us are invincible
i don't have any other updates
other than the fact that he's hurting
please please please
pray for her and her family
it makes me wanna cry
it's just not fair
i pray the Lord watches over her
and gives them the strength
to overcome this
this is so much more serious
than i initially thought
and now it's hitting me
please please please
pray for her and the family
thanks guys!!

a dream is a wish your heart makes

as i sit here watching cinderella
i can't help but love this story plot
it's a romantic story
about a girl that's the underdog
and comes through with the win
with a prince charming
i love that
there is hope out there
and it shows that everyone
has a prince charming
and i can't wait to meet mine
this weekend
is one of the boys' birthday
he's turning 21
and i'm so excited about it
i'm trying not to get 
my hopes up though
there's going to be a lot
of people there
and i don't want to think
i'm going to get
any attention from him
and i also don't want
to be needy or desperate
i just want to be myself
and i wan't him
to want that person
trying to stop thinking bout it
but it's hard to stop
tonight during abs workout
my roommates decided
i need to have a boyfriend
like joey from friends
he's funny and cute
today i talked to the other boy
his friend walked up giving
him the nod of approval
i really like him
he's making advances
towards me but not enough
to not question
i get to see him tomorrow
so we'll see what happens
i'm trying to be patient
and let the Lord do the work
i trust him
he's got a plan

wall-e

today i got some answers
the boy that i was all nervous about
because he was confronted on something
i found out from my roommate
it was because he had pulled a joke
i had assumed the worst
and i shouldn't have
the complication is this
when i thought the door was closed
i guess it wasn't
i think i'm thinking about things too much
it's getting stressful
and i don't want to be to that point again
the other day
i talked to my friend about my ex boyfriend
and it was weird talking about him again
then i realized something important
i'm finally moved on and over him
the time has come
for me to no longer think about him
but move on and think about others
it's not worth dwelling on
thank the Lord
it's over
that era is completely over
this weekend should be interesting
i'll keep you guys updated

a turn of events

satuday night i hung out with one of the boys
he remembered me
but was confronted on something else he did
that made me nervous
i think the Lord has closed that door.
i haven't talked tot he other boy here at school
in about a week
the Lord has also brought in
a past interest
he's from camp and super sweet.
i hadn't talked to him in a long time
and then just tonight he texted me
reminding me of how sweet
caring
and loving he is
i thought he was out of my life
but things have changed i guess
i'm just trying to live the single life
and dwell in every day the Lord
blesses me with
for i am thankful for each one
it's hard not to commit so easily
and let my mind be confused
it's just really hard.
but i'm trying not to look to hard into things
and just enjoy life
one day at a time

time to get back on track

i haven't been to church
in the past like 3 weeks
and i miss it
it's because i'm too lazy to go
and that's not acceptable
and i want to go
but i haven't been
i miss it.
ever since i've been 21
it's been parties every week
and it's sleep in sunday
yes i can go to loft at night
but i don't feel that's the same
i love LOFT
but it's not church
i know that the Lord is always there
and he will never leave me
but i still miss Him
and i miss church
it's time to get back on track
it's time to focus on the Lord
and to give him more of my time
instead of making him second in my life
it's time to make him #1 again
the time is NOW!!!

a cinderella story

there are 2 boys in my life
one of them is
my best friend's boyfriend's best friend
the other is
my roommate's fiance's twin brother
both have close connections
and both are super nice
the thing is
i know one better than the other
and i've fallen for the one
more than for the other
but i also
want them to make the move
i deserve to be pursued!
and i deserve the best
i'm sitting here watching Cinderella story
it's got such a different attitude now
i'm watching it as loving a chick flick
not watching it wishing that was my life
because i know the Lord has a plan for my life
he has my prince charming out there
and he's going to come to my rescue sooner or later
just hopefully sooner. :)
he has my very own
fairy tale planned
and i can't wait till it unfolds
the Lord is soo good!!
and i have faith in Him
he will pull through and provide
all i can do
is be the girl that the Lord wants
and know it's enough. :)