the Lord in a box

Hey all!

this blog is mostly cause i haven't been on here in a really long time and i thought that it was time to share a little bit about my life with you. there are two main points that are going to be most of this blog.

1. this summer my life changed for the better. i was a leader at the FCA camp in Pella. it was the best experience of my life and i have grown so much spiritually from it. i have been able to have the courage to talk openly about my faith and how much God has blessed my life and how much we need to trust in him. i had a lot of coaching experience that the Lord was preparing me for this season when i'm going to be a volleyball coach at a middle school close to school. while we were at camp this summer i made some AMAZING friends and met some amazing people. while there though, there was an accident during camp that brought us to have a really hard last day. we knew that it was going to play some sort of role into the Lord's plan for us but it was just difficult to get through on the last day. the girls were asking questions and wanted every answer that was possible and we just didn't have it! i had never dealt first had with any kind of death for a while so that was when you want to have all the answers but can't! it was really difficult but we found out that it brought A LOT of kids to the Lord the next day. that was a really long time and i just knew that when i got done with camp that it was going to be hard to get back into the life of home cause i had family coming into town. i just can't believe how much that touched my life and has changed me for the better.

2. the other major thing that has happened in my life is the fact that i have had a hard time having all the self-confidence in the world. i put on a face that i have all the confidence in the world but in all reality i don't have any what so ever. anywho, i have always put my acceptance in the fact that i have had a boyfriend or have a had a guy like me and i guess I've really been struggling with that this summer. i had one really good prospect but he lives in Massachusetts and i would LOVE to date him cause he's so sweet but i just don't know. now that i'm at school there is someone that i really like. i kinda liked him last semester too and he's always given me the butterflies. he is just so sweet and he is soo freaking cute! he has blonde hair and sings like an angel. i mean, this voice makes me melt in a second. problem? we're friends..nothing more. people keep saying to be patient and that the Lord will make it happen if He wants to. but here's the deal, i have had this problem of putting God into this box that i think that i need to control or give God a hand. i don't know, i guess you could say i don't trust him fully. i have always had this thing that i don't really think that any guy would look at me. i think that every guy is looking through me. never at me and saying i look nice, but always right through me and thinking of me as the friend. i just don't know..

anyways, if you guys have any kind of advice let me know! i'd love to hear it. may the Lord watch over you guys!!! thanks.