Well,
it's been a while
but i'm still here
there are various things
to update you on
jobs
i have been freaking out
because i'm getting low on money
it's been hard
so recently i've been
frantically looking for a job
and i think i may have one
but i won't know till tuesday
i have applied for a tutoring job
and i think i might get it
i visited the family today
and they seem very nice
the girl seems kinda shy
but her mom said she liked me
so we are praying that comes through
also on tuesday
i have a job interview
for helping out on campus
with intramurals at night
another job i would LOVE to have
so we are hoping all the prayer
is helping and the Lord will
bless me with a job soon
i also plan on giving plasma
there is a clinic
here by campus
so hopefully i can get there
the beginning of March
boys
i have decided
i'm not in any hurry
to find the man of my dreams
and there's plenty of time
it's been kinda nice
i've been too focused on money
for me to worry about men
:)
i have not been talking to that boy
i go over there
but i haven't been talking to him
i think i can tell it's different
when i talked to him after class
he told me he got another gig
and i think he expected me to ask
right away when and where it was
but i didn't and i think it through him off
i'm not going to his concert
he is opening
for a Christian singer
yes i would LOVE to go
but i can't
i'm not allowing myself to go
there is no reason to torture myself
yes i do have a crush
on the drummer of the band
but i will not go cause i need to get over
the other boy first
it is a must
that is all the updates i have
i hope this finds you all well
praying for you all!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
ground zero
well,
i was feeling great
went over to the guys today
it was the first time
i've gone over there
and hoped he WASN'T there
i wanted to avoid him
like the plague
i went over there
thinking i'm going to ignore him
but half knowing i wouldn't be able to
so i went over there
he came to me
i did not do anything
i ignored him
he left
then he came back
he came to me
i felt like i was doing so good
then he started flirting
wrestling
things FRIENDS don't do
so it was time for me to bug
so i bugged him non stop
he was going to get sick of me
for some reason
he kept saying
he was leaving for GVSU for the night
my guess is to see the guys in his band
i was actually relieved to hear it
it was time for him to leave
i had talked to my roommate about it
last night
and she said to be careful
cause i would regret it later
she's right
apparently we can't be friends
i talked to one of my guys
he said it was possible
he said he would get other outside advice
then if so
i should talk to him
after i had decided not to
the Lord has a plan
he knows what it's going to be
he's got it all under control
pray for this please!!
pray all is well with you all
i was feeling great
went over to the guys today
it was the first time
i've gone over there
and hoped he WASN'T there
i wanted to avoid him
like the plague
i went over there
thinking i'm going to ignore him
but half knowing i wouldn't be able to
so i went over there
he came to me
i did not do anything
i ignored him
he left
then he came back
he came to me
i felt like i was doing so good
then he started flirting
wrestling
things FRIENDS don't do
so it was time for me to bug
so i bugged him non stop
he was going to get sick of me
for some reason
he kept saying
he was leaving for GVSU for the night
my guess is to see the guys in his band
i was actually relieved to hear it
it was time for him to leave
i had talked to my roommate about it
last night
and she said to be careful
cause i would regret it later
she's right
apparently we can't be friends
i talked to one of my guys
he said it was possible
he said he would get other outside advice
then if so
i should talk to him
after i had decided not to
the Lord has a plan
he knows what it's going to be
he's got it all under control
pray for this please!!
pray all is well with you all
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
a change in plans
this morning
i woke up
to a great article
it was about boy/girl friendships
i got it on facebook
from a really good friend from home
it was filled with LOTS of incite
and had great advice
about boy/girl friendships
i will attach it at the end
in order to spread the knowledge
i read it to my roommates today
and they said every part of it
is an exact description of me and him
i had class today with him
and i didn't sit by him
OR say hi
it was sooo hard
but i did it through the Lord's strength
he helped me to ignore
and to avoid him all together
after class
i was talking to a friend on the path
then he went past and play kicked me
WHILE SINGING
and i didn't say anything
i just punched him in the arm
and moved on
i want to thank my friend
you are super sweet
and it's because of your article
that i have decided i'm done
if he wants to be my friend
he can SHOW me that
but until then i'm doing my own thing
i have guys who say they will
be my friends and WILL be my friends
they are there for me
and will be my friends
they talk me through boy things
they care about me
instead of caring just about themselves
it's not fair
for me to compare him to others
but they look better in my eyes..
so it's hard not to
but now i have decided
i'm not going to talk to him
he can come to me
we will be friends when
he decides to BE a friend
pray the Lord keeps me strong
here's the article from my friend:
Quite a few young women have expressed frustration to me about the “politics of guy friendships”, wishing that they could simply shrug off all concern and enjoy the same closeness with their guy-friends that they share with their female friends. But even though you might feel a close connection with a guy friend, it’s important to stay guarded in both your thoughts and your actions toward him. It is all too easy, especially for girls, to begin giving away the kind of intimacy and affection that is meant to be saved for your future spouse. It’s more than possible to enjoy close guy friendships without violating the sacredness of your future marriage relationship – but it doesn’t happen by accident. It takes prayer, focus, and help from the Spirit of God.
Ask the Spirit of God to be your guide – if you submit your every thought, action, and conversation to Him, He will guide and direct you; offering caution when it is needed and giving you freedom when it is needed.
Before my relationship with Eric ever began, I developed close friendships with several godly young men. Up until then, most of my interaction with the opposite sex had been flirtatious, teasing, based on physical attraction, the challenge of getting a guy’s attention, or the hope of a romantic fling developing. But once I gave God the “pen” of my love story, I made a decision not to pursue guys in that way and to put a stop to the flirtatious relationships I had become so used to. I wasn’t sure how to have a healthy, Christ-focused friendship with a guy. I prayed that God would show me His pattern. I found that the first step was entering into friendships with like-minded young men; young men who were not primarily focused on the opposite sex, but on Jesus Christ. I hadn’t met many young men that fell into that category, but as I prayed about it, God began to bring a small handful of them into my life. Instead of teasing, joking, and flirting when we were together, we spent time encouraging each other spiritually and discoursing about God’s Word. They truly became like brothers to me, pointing me continually toward Christ and not toward themselves.
In reality, a guy/girl friendship – especially one that is not headed toward marriage – is not meant to become as intimate and close as other friendships, no matter what kind of “connection” you may feel. Once God brings your future spouse into your life, your one-on-one friendships with the opposite sex will need to diminish, being replaced by “couple friendships” instead. And it is far less painful to make that transition when deep, personal, intimate friendship bonds have not been forged.
If there is a possibility in your mind that a friendship with a member of the opposite sex might end up as something more, it is still wise to be careful until you know for sure. God is perfectly capable of nudging a relationship forward in His own time and way. But in the meantime, the best thing you can do is to live as if your heart, mind, and body still belong to someone else.
i pray you are all doing well
i woke up
to a great article
it was about boy/girl friendships
i got it on facebook
from a really good friend from home
it was filled with LOTS of incite
and had great advice
about boy/girl friendships
i will attach it at the end
in order to spread the knowledge
i read it to my roommates today
and they said every part of it
is an exact description of me and him
i had class today with him
and i didn't sit by him
OR say hi
it was sooo hard
but i did it through the Lord's strength
he helped me to ignore
and to avoid him all together
after class
i was talking to a friend on the path
then he went past and play kicked me
WHILE SINGING
and i didn't say anything
i just punched him in the arm
and moved on
i want to thank my friend
you are super sweet
and it's because of your article
that i have decided i'm done
if he wants to be my friend
he can SHOW me that
but until then i'm doing my own thing
i have guys who say they will
be my friends and WILL be my friends
they are there for me
and will be my friends
they talk me through boy things
they care about me
instead of caring just about themselves
it's not fair
for me to compare him to others
but they look better in my eyes..
so it's hard not to
but now i have decided
i'm not going to talk to him
he can come to me
we will be friends when
he decides to BE a friend
pray the Lord keeps me strong
here's the article from my friend:
Quite a few young women have expressed frustration to me about the “politics of guy friendships”, wishing that they could simply shrug off all concern and enjoy the same closeness with their guy-friends that they share with their female friends. But even though you might feel a close connection with a guy friend, it’s important to stay guarded in both your thoughts and your actions toward him. It is all too easy, especially for girls, to begin giving away the kind of intimacy and affection that is meant to be saved for your future spouse. It’s more than possible to enjoy close guy friendships without violating the sacredness of your future marriage relationship – but it doesn’t happen by accident. It takes prayer, focus, and help from the Spirit of God.
Ask the Spirit of God to be your guide – if you submit your every thought, action, and conversation to Him, He will guide and direct you; offering caution when it is needed and giving you freedom when it is needed.
Before my relationship with Eric ever began, I developed close friendships with several godly young men. Up until then, most of my interaction with the opposite sex had been flirtatious, teasing, based on physical attraction, the challenge of getting a guy’s attention, or the hope of a romantic fling developing. But once I gave God the “pen” of my love story, I made a decision not to pursue guys in that way and to put a stop to the flirtatious relationships I had become so used to. I wasn’t sure how to have a healthy, Christ-focused friendship with a guy. I prayed that God would show me His pattern. I found that the first step was entering into friendships with like-minded young men; young men who were not primarily focused on the opposite sex, but on Jesus Christ. I hadn’t met many young men that fell into that category, but as I prayed about it, God began to bring a small handful of them into my life. Instead of teasing, joking, and flirting when we were together, we spent time encouraging each other spiritually and discoursing about God’s Word. They truly became like brothers to me, pointing me continually toward Christ and not toward themselves.
In reality, a guy/girl friendship – especially one that is not headed toward marriage – is not meant to become as intimate and close as other friendships, no matter what kind of “connection” you may feel. Once God brings your future spouse into your life, your one-on-one friendships with the opposite sex will need to diminish, being replaced by “couple friendships” instead. And it is far less painful to make that transition when deep, personal, intimate friendship bonds have not been forged.
If there is a possibility in your mind that a friendship with a member of the opposite sex might end up as something more, it is still wise to be careful until you know for sure. God is perfectly capable of nudging a relationship forward in His own time and way. But in the meantime, the best thing you can do is to live as if your heart, mind, and body still belong to someone else.
i pray you are all doing well
Monday, February 7, 2011
a little dramatic
so...
i went over to talk to him
this past saturday like i planned
i was all hyped up
ready to talk to him
looking all cute
then
i got there
but he wasn't there
so i asked the guys where he went
they said he was with some chick
a girl he wants to date
but won't date him
(insert knife)
so i texted him
asked him where he was
told him i was there to see him
and he wasn't there
he said he was in another dorm
giving a mini concert over there
so i said to myself
if you are with this girl
you're giving her a personal concert?
after i had told him
singing and guitar were our thing
wow..
(turn knife)
so i told him i was "mad"
and that we were "in a fight"
then he said
i look forward to fighting with you
and i know he's a wrestler with me
so then i didn't know how to take that
(take out knife)
so then i leave for the night
come back later looking for a friend
he's in his room
i don't know if the girl is in there
but i WASN'T about to find out
i walk past a few times
nothing
(insert knife)
so i walk into the room
talk to the friend
then leave
what comes next?
a text from him
he said he heard me in the hall
but now i'm gone
why didn't he get to see me?
so i tell him i'm on my way back
but he's already gone on his way home
so i call him
he says he will be back late sunday
so i figure i'll see him sometime this week
then i realize we have class together
tuesday and thursday
(take out knife)
finally,
tonight i'm talking to my old roommate
she is telling me about this guy
who screwed her over royally
he was super nice to her
then was a douche to her
his name?
dan arnson...
what?! WHAT?! WHHAAAAAT?!
so i take that as some sort of sign
i feel like it can't be any more obvious
so i have the plan
to talk to him sometime this week
i'm hoping to get it all out there
in a joking matter
so no one feels pressured
or put in the spotlight
no fighting
no serious talk
just goofing around/seriousness
i'll jokingly ask him why he did that
what his feelings are
and then confront him
tell him to back off
this needs to happen
i pray the Lord gives me the strength
to pull through with this
please pray for this week
i went over to talk to him
this past saturday like i planned
i was all hyped up
ready to talk to him
looking all cute
then
i got there
but he wasn't there
so i asked the guys where he went
they said he was with some chick
a girl he wants to date
but won't date him
(insert knife)
so i texted him
asked him where he was
told him i was there to see him
and he wasn't there
he said he was in another dorm
giving a mini concert over there
so i said to myself
if you are with this girl
you're giving her a personal concert?
after i had told him
singing and guitar were our thing
wow..
(turn knife)
so i told him i was "mad"
and that we were "in a fight"
then he said
i look forward to fighting with you
and i know he's a wrestler with me
so then i didn't know how to take that
(take out knife)
so then i leave for the night
come back later looking for a friend
he's in his room
i don't know if the girl is in there
but i WASN'T about to find out
i walk past a few times
nothing
(insert knife)
so i walk into the room
talk to the friend
then leave
what comes next?
a text from him
he said he heard me in the hall
but now i'm gone
why didn't he get to see me?
so i tell him i'm on my way back
but he's already gone on his way home
so i call him
he says he will be back late sunday
so i figure i'll see him sometime this week
then i realize we have class together
tuesday and thursday
(take out knife)
finally,
tonight i'm talking to my old roommate
she is telling me about this guy
who screwed her over royally
he was super nice to her
then was a douche to her
his name?
dan arnson...
what?! WHAT?! WHHAAAAAT?!
so i take that as some sort of sign
i feel like it can't be any more obvious
so i have the plan
to talk to him sometime this week
i'm hoping to get it all out there
in a joking matter
so no one feels pressured
or put in the spotlight
no fighting
no serious talk
just goofing around/seriousness
i'll jokingly ask him why he did that
what his feelings are
and then confront him
tell him to back off
this needs to happen
i pray the Lord gives me the strength
to pull through with this
please pray for this week
Saturday, February 5, 2011
the tears that never come
ever have those times
when you are on the verge
but can't produce tears?
yeah...
it's one of those times
i've been struggling
cause i had a friend
who i was falling for
so i decided to go for it
and i told him i did
he said he didn't see anything
right now...
so i back off and we stayed friends
but lately,
it's been flirting with me
i've been questioning what he wants
tonight
he had a concert
he knows that i love his singing
and i think he's super talented at guitar
we decided to make a fans club
right in front of him
he kept singing DIRECTLY at me
the thing that confuses me
i told him and he knows i like him
but he still flirts with me!!
that's not fair
at all
do i talk to him?
the one thing stopping me
is i have class with him tuesday and thursday
so i have to see him after i do talk to him
i really want to talk to him
i want to clear the air and know
i need some help!!
please keep me in your prayers
i think i'm going to have the talk with him saturday
it needs to happen..
thanks!!
when you are on the verge
but can't produce tears?
yeah...
it's one of those times
i've been struggling
cause i had a friend
who i was falling for
so i decided to go for it
and i told him i did
he said he didn't see anything
right now...
so i back off and we stayed friends
but lately,
it's been flirting with me
i've been questioning what he wants
tonight
he had a concert
he knows that i love his singing
and i think he's super talented at guitar
we decided to make a fans club
right in front of him
he kept singing DIRECTLY at me
the thing that confuses me
i told him and he knows i like him
but he still flirts with me!!
that's not fair
at all
do i talk to him?
the one thing stopping me
is i have class with him tuesday and thursday
so i have to see him after i do talk to him
i really want to talk to him
i want to clear the air and know
i need some help!!
please keep me in your prayers
i think i'm going to have the talk with him saturday
it needs to happen..
thanks!!
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